“Without communication, there is no relationship; without respect, there is no love; without trust, there is no reason to continue!” – Anonymous Trust. Why do they call it the key to your partner’s heart and soul? Why is it that when someone cheats, lies or hides something, the only thing that’s damaged between the two is trust? Above all, why is it the rock-solid foundation of love and relation between two people? Trust is a vault that saves all the good things we have in our relationship. It is the faith that you have in your partner that they will remain loyal to you. And without it, there is no true relationship but a shaky wood bridge that can break anytime. But why isn’t it always there? Why do we have to build it from scratch? Trust cannot be demanded and it cannot be bought. You need to build it gradually and slowly. That’s the only way you can create a lasting relationship.
How do you work on trust in a relationship?
Nobel Laureate Ernest Hemingway once said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” How long it can take to trust someone is a question that doesn’t really have a definite answer. Why? Because we are all so different. We all have unique perspectives on life and relationship. Particularly in an age when people are living longer and experiencing changes over their lifespan, building trust has become all too different and dynamic. How long it takes to build trust depends upon how honest you are in a relationship and how effective you are in channeling your feelings into someone’s heart. It will also depend on how reliable and committed you are as well as how quick you are in admitting and rectifying your mistakes.
Trust is not gifted
Buying an expensive gift won’t earn you someone’s trust. Trust is not gifted; it is earned. The best way to earn it is when your actions are in harmony with your words. When you make a commitment, whether big or small, have the intention and authority of following through. Trust can be established quicker if you are impeccable with your words in all that you do. You cannot see into another person. You can only offer who you are authentically and the other person will be able to relate to you through what he believes. If you are in a volatile relationship, then pay extra attention to your relationship dynamics. Your perspective might be different from your partner when you are trying to build a relationship. In those murky times, consistency is the key to build a lasting trust. Remember, sometimes one letdown can be enough to reverse all your efforts. Like other things in a relationship, there are no rules to follow before someone trusts you. Earning trust is a long, slow process of good decisions and actions every day. There are no shortcuts. If anyone is looking for a quick fix, then they are not living in the real world.
Can we rebuild trust?
They say that trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose and the hardest thing in the world to get back. Living in a world where technology has taken over our lives, building trust can be tricky. Our experiences are changing drastically and we are becoming more vulnerable. The glam of social media and dating apps may sometimes lure anyone to infidelity. But the day you are caught, your whole trust comes crashing down.
Rebuilding a trust after a breach could be a daunting task. But if you are willing to rectify your mistake and if the person means a lot to you then you have to work hard to build the trust back. Take note that the process takes time and it won’t happen in an instant. You have to rebuild and repair it. Establish the root cause and do some introspection to find out why the infidelity happened. Communicate this to your partner and try your best to ease the paranoia in your relationship. It’s a long healing process but if you care about the person, going through the process won’t be that hard.
How to consolidate trust in a relationship?
Those of you who are in a relationship can find inspirations in couples who have been together for a long time. Following are some tips that can help you.
- Focus on how you can take care of one another rather than keeping score of what the other is not doing in a relationship.
- Embrace the differences in your relationship. Acknowledging and appreciating will build respect and confidence.
- Reciprocate. Even if it takes you some time to trust the other person, reciprocate with trust and love.
- Learn to work through the issues and don’t hold a grudge.
- Stay intimate physically, mentally, and emotionally with your partner.
There isn’t one right way to build trust in a relationship. Sometimes, you may have to recalibrate your relationship. Remember this: Successful couples aren’t ones who have no issue in their relationships; they are actually not oblivious to those issues. They recognize the differences, embrace them, and commit to working things through.